No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let Mom brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
Whether he's real or not, you should believe in the tooth fairy if you like money.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Submitted 1/13/2000 11:47:29 PM